I want to start this off by saying that I am by no means a professional; I am just a girl going through it as well. So, while I may not be a professional, I am credible in the sense that, to put it lightly, I am going through a year of extreme grief.
For some context, in February of this year, I unexpectedly lost my father, followed by the passing of my grandma in June, and finally, in August of this year, I lost my other grandma. So, while I may not have any degree, I have the experience.
Going through the grief process is a hard enough journey in and of itself, but there is something extra tricky about the holiday season. Maybe sharing some of the ways that I have made this holiday season even just a fraction easier could help any of you reading this.
Surround yourself with genuine people
One of the only things that have made this holiday season bearable is surrounding myself with people who genuinely care about me and my well-being. This time is hard enough; don't make it any harder by isolating yourself.
This isn’t limited to just one kind of relationship; it can be your family, friends, or anyone else as long as they genuinely have your best interest at heart. The key difference when comparing people in your life to people who care is to pay attention to the people who show up in the little moments.
There have been countless big monumental moments in this journey, but even smaller moments have been just as hard, and it's in those moments, I have realized who is there for me. Lean on those people.
Find someone who understands
While this may be hard and require reaching out of my comfort zone, one of the reasons that I have stayed sane not only through this holiday season but throughout this whole year is being around someone who is going through what I am. While our situations are not the same down to every detail, she has been able to understand the lens that I am going through every situation with.
Organization
Even though the semester has come to a close, being organized has kept an abundant amount of extra stress off my plate. You are already going through enough as it is; missing assignments and falling behind will only create even more stress. Of course, there have been cases where I've fallen off schedule or behind, but it's much easier to get back on track when there is a track to get back onto.
Give yourself some grace
I am very hard on myself, but you have to accept that what you are going through is hard. Cut yourself some slack. While you have to stay on top of your responsibilities, make sure you aren't putting too much on yourself.
Find a hobby
As much of a cliche as that sounds like, it's true. Finding something that you not only love to do but consumes a little bit of time and brain space is refreshing. You are currently reading about one of the hobbies that I fell in love with and leaned on this year, specifically this holiday season: writing. It was nice to type for a while, whether for a purpose or just a blank paper and my thoughts.
Another hobby that feels more like ‘hobby-esk’ is bedazzling. I know that sounds funny, but I did it for the first time for a Halloween costume, and it turns out it's a perfect hobby. It's a mindless task that keeps my brain occupied but isn't difficult. Not to mention, who doesn't want the ability to make everything sparkle?
While some of these things may seem obvious, they are essential. These things have allowed me to enjoy the end of my final fall semester here at UB, regardless of the grief I have been carrying around. The holidays enhance the feelings of grief and make life just a little bit harder, so I hope this little list helps or inspires anyone who needs it.
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