There is nothing more devastating than losing someone close to you.
Birth and death occur daily but result in emotions that are on direct opposite sides of the spectrum.
I recently lost my grandmother and over the weekend helped my fiancée deal with the loss of hers. It's amazing to witness what happens when a close-knit family comes together in a time of utter despair and sadness.
We spend a lifetime with people who share every part of our lives with us and nothing truly prepares us for when the time comes to say goodbye. No matter what the circumstances are, the knowledge that we can never talk or interact with that person again breaks down the most mentally tough individuals.
The one part of this process that is so special is the effect one person can have on a group of people. I sat and watched in a waiting room full of people as they shared stories and memories of their grandmother, mother and friend. In the midst of unbelievable sadness, they celebrated the life of a woman who they all loved.
To be able to say that one person was able to bring so many together in love in the final hour of life is an admirable portrait of that person's life.
My fiancée and I have been together for about a year-and-a-half now and in that time I may have spoken to her grandmother only a handful of times. But in that moment, seeing the family that she had built, I would forever be left with my memory of her.
She was someone who loved her family and the kind of person who made the people in her life better by her example and the joy she had for life.
I'm reminded of a line from a television show I once saw that has stuck with me for many years.
In reminiscing with a friend about life and death, the male character made an interesting point about the phrase 'life and death.'
'It's interesting how people use that expression,' he said. 'As to imply that life is the opposite of death – but birth is the opposite of death. Life has no opposite.'
I have been pondering this notion ever since I heard it and, until now, never really understood fully what he meant. In this time of grief for a family I came to understand, or at least take away, what I believe to be the meaning of what the character was saying.
Life is the vehicle that we were given to experience love and the people in this world that we hold dearest to us.
Helen Ennis was a person who utilized her vehicle to the fullest extent and made so many lives better in the process.
Greatness is classified in so many ways but when you break it all down I think real greatness is to affect another life in some way and make that life better.
I will always remember that night in a hospital waiting room where 20 people shared their life with Helen and in doing so gave a tribute to a great life lived.
E-mail: matthew.parrino@ubpsectrum.com
