For four years my aunt and uncle have been trying to get pregnant and have their first child. Both in their mid-to-late forties, their window of opportunity to have children is getting smaller and will soon be closed forever.
My aunt, plagued by severe arthritis, has had trouble getting pregnant the natural way. Being blessed with a decent income they have turned to in vitro fertilization, like so many other couples across the US.
After trying in vitro two or three times, each time getting their hopes up when my aunt would get pregnant and then having their dreams dashed after the pregnancy was lost, they seemed to have given up forever. Now trying for the final time, they've started to discuss other options in case it doesn't work again. Adoption and surrogacy have both been thrown around the dinner table as a last resort.
It made me question how I felt about surrogacy and, if it came down to it, if I would ever be able to look at surrogacy as an option. While yes, it's the woman's egg and the man's sperm so the fetus is still genetically their child, someone else still carried the child for them.
For nine months another woman carried and formed the child during the months when a mother bonds the most with her unborn baby. This is also the greatest risk factor - for nine months another woman bonds with a baby that is not hers. In the end, the surrogate has to give birth to the child only to be left with nothing but a flabby stomach and milk in her breasts with no young to feed.
According to an article in Newsweek, surrogate pregnancy has, in the past, been a fairly uncommon practice. Now surrogacy is growing in popularity, especially among Army wives looking to supplement their husbands' incomes.
The US is one of the only countries that hasn't completely banned surrogacy like many countries around the world have. The state governments that regulate surrogacy treat the practice as a business transaction rather than a personal and private choice between a couple and their surrogate mother.
Religious groups view surrogacy as an act of prostitution. Despite my personal opinions on surrogacy and whether I would ever go through with it, I don't think I could ever see it that way. Surrogacy, if nothing else, is a selfless act. Even though surrogate mothers get a large chunk of money for their services, they still have to give greatly of their lives and body only for the benefit of other people.
On average surrogate mothers receive $25,000 or more, in addition to all of the expenses that go along with the pregnancy are covered by the couple. That's a large chunk of money. With that amount of money I could buy a new car, pay off my college loans or live comfortably.
The perks of being a surrogate mother have obviously caught the eye of more than just me since according to Newsweek, the number of surrogate mothers tripled in 2007. At first I was very surprised because, although I'd batted the idea of being a surrogate mother around with my friends as a joke to get money after college, I never knew or heard of anyone being one in real life.
Until my aunt and uncle brought the idea up at Christmas this past year I'd never known a couple who had seriously considered using surrogacy as a way to conceive a child. Surrogacy had been this foreign act to me that seemed like a myth or an urban legend.
With shows coming out like Army Wives on Lifetime and the new movie "Baby Mama" with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, a comedy about a woman who uses a surrogate mother to have her child, no wonder surrogate pregnancies have triple.
The act is becoming glorified by the entertainment business. An act that women should consider the consequences and risks of before committing to, will now most likely be something that younger generations of women will rush into thinking only of the money and the glorified scenes they saw in "Baby Mama."
Don't get me wrong, I am all for surrogate mothers to have a child of for someone unable wouldn't be able to conceive. Surrogates give parents the gift of a child who will not only look like them, but will share all of their genetic traits.
Couples like my aunt and uncle who deserve a child and are unable to have one would be blessed if another woman gave them that gift. Despite not being able to carry the child, it's still better than adopting.
I think that as surrogacy grows in popularity and as the US and other countries struggle to regulate and control what they deem to be nothing more than a business transaction, it will be important to keep in mind what surrogacy really is and the consequences that come with it.
Surrogacy is not just an easy way to make money, but it's giving of oneself selflessly for nine months letting someone else have complete control over your body and lifestyle choices. Giving up a baby that over those nine months the surrogate mother will inevitably grow attached to after every kick, hiccup and trimester is harder than it seems.
Photo: Wikimedia Commons
