In a land where the five-finger discount translates into the five-finger death punch and jaywalking is legal, only one man is tough enough to handle the gaggles of department store deviants.
And his name is probably not Ronnie Barnhardt.
Barnhardt (Seth Rogen, Monsters vs. Aliens), the protagonist of Observe and Report, is not your average mall cop; when the going gets tough, the tough get violent. Very violent.
Observe and Report comes across as such a torn movie. Much like Rogen's character, the film just doesn't seem to know exactly where it's going or how it's going to get there. At times, it seems like the plot's main objective is to just get to the next punch line, leaving audiences laughing but, in the end, disinterested.
Rogen's character is a vulgar, tough-as-nails mall security guard whose love and affection for mall makeup artist Brandi (Anna Faris, The House Bunny) draws him onto his toughest case yet: who exactly is the shopping center flasher. Unfortunately, this point is largely ignored for extended portions of the movie.
And while it's no fault of his own, Rogen has finally produced his first major dud since becoming one of Hollywood's crown princes of comedy. It's not quite Eddie Murphy Meet Dave bad; it's more like Jim Carrey Fun with Dick and Jane bad.
Part of the blame rests upon writer/director Jody Hill's (Eastbound & Down) script, which relies too heavily on overdone cliches and stereotypes while not utilizing his actors' talents.
Take Faris' Brandi; her character could have had at least one layer of depth, but instead was so replaceable that any blonde with a push-up bra could have stepped right into her high heels.
As for Rogen, he plays the over the top tough-guy mall security guard better than most real over the top tough-guy mall security guards, but he could have done so much more.
Barnhardt steals the show when Hill's script calls for him to get physical; whether it's a fight against Danny McBride (Eastbound & Down) and his street gang,or a parade of police officers, it is the physical gags that draw the most laughter.
Outside of the ridiculous fight scenes, the rest of the jokes are delivered with varied results.
Aziz Ansari (Parks and Recreation) plays one of Ronnie's rivals in the mall as a floor vendor whose massage oil treatments seem to be a little too close for comfort for the irritated security guard. The back and forth exchanges between Ansari and Rogen are witty but serve as more of a testament to the comedians' improv skills.
But, like most of the movie, Ansari's role in the movie really isn't anything of importance and is just filler. Granted its funny filler, but the other stuff pales in comparison.
The scenes in which Barnhardt assembles his crack team of shopping center assassins shows so much promise but the script calls for character development for not one member of the team with one exception: Michael Pena (The Lucky Ones).
Pena plays Dennis, the right hand man to Barnhardt, and together they share an awkwarddrug-fueled romp that is neither funny, nor necessary. It's just one of the many examples of drug and alcohol abuse in the film that's more uncomfortable than comedic.
Along with Dennis, Charles (Jesse Plemons, Friday Night Lights) also works alongside our weekday warrior but instead of having anything of merit, he's kind of just randomly thrown in there.
He is supposed to be training under Barnhardt's wing, but there is only one scene in which Ronnie passes down advice before the movie ends.
Also included is the prototypical love story for Barnhardt. Too bad it's the most predictable love story since Heath met Jake.
Observe and Report ends up being an utter disappointment as most of the one-liners and situations are not funny. The fighting scenes that allow Rogen to shine are fantastic, but are too far and few between.
If only there was another mall cop movie out there.
