What if you broke up with someone and knew, with full certainty, that you'd never see them again? No passive run-ins at the gym. No late-night Instagram stories baiting your attention. No algorithm reminding you of their existence with recycled memories or friend suggestions. Just… gone.
You’d probably still think about them. Maybe for a long time. Maybe longer than you’d want to admit. You’d still play certain songs, or tell a story that includes them. Over time, you'd have to stop keeping a seat open for them. You’d have no choice but to move on.
But that’s not how it works anymore.
Pre-social media, pre-smartphone, a breakup could really mean the end. But now? You’re always one digital breadcrumb away from spiraling back into their orbit. A tag, a like, a story view. We’ve blurred the line between closure and connection, clinging to a curated presence rather than letting go of a real person.
Now, people stay. Not physically, but digitally. In your phone. In your feed. In your mind. Breakups don’t feel like breakups anymore.
They don’t call, but they view your story. They don’t say much, but they like a post three weeks after you stopped talking. They say nothing, but somehow make it clear they’re still around.
There’s no universally accepted etiquette. Do you unfollow them? Mute them? Leave them on read forever? Technology has gifted us unlimited access, and in the same breath, stripped us of healthy boundaries. The emotional labor of moving on is now a digital task list:
Delete photos
Archive messages
Unfollow
But if you knew you'd never see them again?
No new photos. No new context. Nothing to analyze. Nothing to decode. Just the absence of them; consistent, predictable, final.
It would hurt differently.
Maybe deeper.
The kind of pain that comes all at once, instead of in slow waves.
Maybe it would be cleaner. Maybe you’d stop romanticizing what it could’ve been and finally accept what it was. Maybe you’d actually let yourself grieve.
We don’t let people go, we just put them on digital ice. But sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do is shut the laptop, log out and let absence do its job. Some breakups deserve more than just unfollowing, they deserve an honest goodbye.
In a way, technology has made us terrible at endings.
The opinions desk can be reached at opinions@ubspectrum.com
