The other day, I was driving around with my little cousins in the backseat, when one of them asked me: “Who’s your best friend?” It seemed silly to me, but it's a very serious question to be answered for a ten year old.
It’s strange. Because when you’re young, the goal is to have the ultimate “best friend.” It’s been portrayed in TV shows from the time we’re little. From Miley and Lily in “Hannah Montana” to Cory and Shawn in “Boy Meets World,” we’re taught that we’re supposed to have one person.
But then you get older. You quickly realize that it’s unfair to put the burden on one person in your life to be so many things at once. You also realize that it’s hard to be all those things for someone else.
I’ve learned that I don’t have a best friend, I have numerous friends who I consider family. They’ve seen me when I’m on top of whatever mountain I’m climbing and they’ve seen me after I fall off the side of that same mountain.
They’ve helped me train for whatever battles I’m facing, and they’ve also taken over the battles when I’m too weak at the moment to. And for that I’ll always be grateful to them.
When you’re at your lowest, you learn a lot. You see someone go from one of your greatest friends to family. You can feel the metaphorical hug they give you by taking the weight off your shoulders.
You also learn who the real ones are in times of resilience. Who’s by your side cheering you on when you’re winning? Who notices when you’re the one cheering them on? It’s not about getting the acknowledgement, it’s about seeing each other.
So have a friend that helps you on your bad days, and a friend that you’re with on your good days. Or get lucky and find a person that does both. I’m fortunate enough to have a few of those. Find friends that help you explore different places and open your eyes to another side of life that you haven’t found yet.
Find the people who you can go out with and be back by 11 p.m. Or find the people who say they want to be back by 11 p.m. with you, but once you both have a drink realize you want to stay out until three in the morning.
At the end of the day it’s important to have people rooting for you and to have good people in your corner and to find people who excite you enough where you want to be in their corner.
A real friend challenges you to be yourself. They motivate and inspire you to be better than the previous day. They fight vigorously towards their goals and help you do the same. I’ve noticed that quality is something that all of my friends share: drive. They all have things that they are deeply passionate about, and every time I listen to them or watch them fulfill these passions, I strongly believe I become a better human being.
A lot of people believe the only way to find true happiness is to find a partner, settle down, have kids and grow old together. And that really is a beautiful thing. But isn’t it just as beautiful to grow old surrounded by a core group of people that uplift and motivate you to be the best version of yourself?
Josh Pawlik is an assistant arts editor and can be reached at josh.pawlik@ubspectrum.com
Josh Pawlik is an assistant arts editor for The Spectrum. His hobbies include playing guitar, working out and reading. He can be found on Instagram @joshpawlik
Photo: Ryan Hagen | UB Athletics
