“Back for a minute. I’m bi. Congrats for forcing an 18 year old to out himself. I think some of you missed the point of the show. Bye,” wrote “Heartstopper” star Kit Connor in an abrupt tweet last year.
The actor deleted his Twitter account several weeks before his coming out tweet in 2022 after he was photographed holding hands with his female co-star, Maia Reficco.
Although Connor never cited a specific reason for his departure from the platform, many attributed the move as a response to the “queerbaiting” accusations sparked by those photos.
Queerbaiting, as defined by one dictionary, is the implication of “non-heterosexual relationships or attraction (in a TV show, for example) to engage or attract an LGBTQ audience …without ever actually depicting such relationships or sexual interactions.”
The term was once a powerful word used to describe the exploitation of LGBTQ+ audiences by movie studios through implied queer representation in film and media. Now, queerbaiting has become just another overused, meaningless “buzzword,” joining the graveyard of exhausted terms like “gaslighting” and “gatekeeping.”
In its more recent application, queerbaiting has been used to harmfully pressure celebrities, like Kit Connor, to reveal their sexual identity or be accused of “acting gay” to attract the interest and support of LGBTQ+ fans.
The fault in this problematic misuse of the term is that celebrities aren’t fictional characters. No matter how famous or untouchable people like Harry Styles and Billie Eilish seem, they are real people with their own feelings and lives. They deserve the same patience and privacy afforded to those living outside of the spotlight.
“Coming out of the closet” — even if it’s just to themself — can be one of the most vulnerable moments in a person’s life. Once you say those words, there’s no taking them back — especially if you’re a celebrity.
As Dan Levy’s John from Happiest Season, the first LGBTQ+ Christmas movie from a major Hollywood studio, put it: “A chapter has ended, and a new one’s begun. You have to be ready for that. You can’t do it for anyone else.”
Kit Connor, and the many other celebrities subjected to this online harassment, deserve better than being forced out of the closet — especially by people within the LGBTQ+ community.
As a queer person, I understand the desire for wanting one of your favorite influencers or celebrity crushes to come out as “gay.” Learning that someone you look up to is also a part of the community can make being gay feel a little less isolating.
But compromising the well-being and privacy of public figures for this feeling of solidarity is never the answer.
This National Coming Out Day, we as a community need to work together to uplift those
who are struggling with their sexuality. We must stay patient and understanding, offering our support without pressuring anyone, whether they’re a celebrity or a close friend, to declare their sexuality.
Alex Olen is an opinion editor and can be reached at alex.olen@ubspectrum.com
Photo: Paul Hokanson / UB Athletics
Photo: Meredith Forrest Kulwicki
