This is the final sex column of the semester, so it's crucial to end with a bang. A bang with the girl you've been fantasizing about for quite some time, the most scandalous and potentially dangerous type - a bang behind your girlfriend's back.
We've all heard the phrase: "once a cheater, always a cheater."
Most of us agree with this term - probably those of us that have been unlucky enough to be fooled by a significant other. Those of us that have believed his phone did, in fact, die while in reality he was making his other girl moan on Friday night.
Then there's the other, much smaller side of society: the side that believes that cheating is acceptable. Usually these people are the ones that throw around the words "I love you" and the ones that hold the motto "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" close to their hearts.
"It's not like we're going to get married," they say. "It's OK if I mess around with someone else for the night. She'll never find out."
This group of cheaters must know what they're doing is immoral, right? Well, that's debatable. Many genuinely believe that they should get away with their actions. They think that their excuses are enough.
These sneaky types may even be able to convince you that you're the reason that they went behind your back - they try to make you feel guilty and as if you are the one to blame.
"Well if you were more exciting maybe I wouldn't have felt the need to go to her; clearly you were doing something wrong to even drive me to that point," they say to make themselves feel better about cheating.
And no matter how many times your friends and family try to tell you otherwise, you believe him.
Never let yourself get suckered into agreeing with a cheater's rationale, and never let yourself get to the point where you deem it acceptable.
You can sympathize with a friend that made a mistake and kissed someone else behind his girlfriend's back one night. You can explain to him that nobody's perfect and that there is a chance he can make up for his actions and heal the wounds he inflicted on his girlfriend.
What you cannot do is tell him that his actions are by any means OK.
Going behind someone's back - someone that loves and appreciates you - is one of the most hurtful things you can do. Breaking up with your girlfriend before hooking up with someone else is a significantly smarter idea than being deceptive and cheating on her.
Yet there are still those a-holes out there that attempt to play two girls at once.
The act of cheating seems to occur most in long-distance relationships where the idea of "out of sight, out of mind," is thrown around. In these cases, people probably feel as if they've been good for so long and deserve a night off or they feel so suffocated by that someone who is so far away and they just need to give in to the touch of someone - whether it be their significant other or not.
If you can't handle the distance then end what you have - it's as simple as that.
When a partner in a relationship gets so drunk that he ends up waking up next to someone else, he thinks that his actions are forgivable because they were done under the heavy influence of alcohol. But they're not. When she finds out that you slept with someone else, whether you were sober or drunk, she will be equally hurt.
The worst part of the entire swindling, lying, and deceiving phenomenon is that most of the time the person being cheated on does not terminate the relationship.
Usually the people who are victims in these situations actually forgive their partners. This ultimately leads to their partners continuously cheating on and hurting them because they think that it is forgivable.
Not to play the therapist here, but I think every girl that has been cheated on and has remained in the deteriorated relationship truly needs to find more confidence and find the courage to break up with the boy that clearly has too tight of a grasp on her heart.
If he's not breaking up with you, yet he's getting with other girls, it's not because he "loves you and is trying to figure his emotions out." It's because he's trying to have his cake and eat it too - and you're letting him.
No excuse is an acceptable one. If you're the one doing the cheating, it's time to do everyone a favor and end the relationship before you hurt her, and inevitably, your reputation. If you're even willing to betray her then you're not actually in love with her. Stop thinking with your penis and start thinking with your brain.
And girls, if your boyfriend is continuously going behind your back and doing the dirty with someone else, end whatever it is you have. He's just not that into you, and although I hate to be the one to grace you with this harsh truth, someone's got to do it.
Email: keren.baruch@ubspectrum.com
