I never really considered going away to college.
For most of my senior year of high school, I had it in my head that I would go to Stony Brook, ref ice hockey on the weekends and live at home on Long Island, rent-free. But at some point late in the year, I decided to look at some of the schools that I had been accepted to.
I visited Buffalo that April. My parents and I went to sleep and woke up to a Buffalo greeting - snow just about up to our hotel window. But a little snow never hurt anyone.
I walked around campus and fell in love with the school. I saw all the clubs and activities UB had to offer and knew it would be a great adventure.
We went back home and started filling out all the paperwork. I stopped my parents and said I'm not 100 percent sure. Summer came and went as it always does, and I stuck by my decision and arrived on campus in August.
To say that first week was an eye-opening experience is an understatement.
People always ask: "why Buffalo?" I would joke by saying, "it's the school that was furthest away from home with state tuition." But that wasn't true. I have the life when I'm home. Parents that give me space, while still helping me with anything I need, my own room, and a great paying part-time job.
I went from never being away from my family for more than a weekend hockey trip to not being able to see them for a month at a time; from a cocooned life to living with two strangers in a dorm room.
Tears were shed when they left, but my dad - who I thought would be the most upset - was the strong one. He told me that there wasn't a doubt in his mind that I would succeed here. These are my type of people, outgoing and full of life.
Well, I called them every night that first week, practically begging them to let me come home. As hard as it was for them, they said no. I had to stay through the semester.
It was the best thing that happened to me.
My dad brings up that week from time to time, in part to remind me why I chose to come to Buffalo and in part to gloat about how he was right.
His story is always the same, no matter how many times I hear it. He called me one day during the second week because he hadn't heard from me in a couple days. He couldn't even get a sentence out because I had five people talking to me about different plans we had. He knew then I was where I was supposed to be.
Just this past weekend, we talked about how short a time it has been since my parents came up to drop me off, and now we are talking about picking me up.
The last four years have been a trip to say the least.
I played for the roller hockey club and went all over the country with those guys. We always complained about the 14 hours of traveling six times a year but there were times we almost drove off the road because we were laughing so hard. I thought the road trip was often the best part of the weekend.
I've met some great people along the way, in particular, my roommate of three and a half years, Joe Ricci. I've told him before, that if he and my other roommate, Steve Pehta weren't my roommates that first year, I wouldn't have ever lasted. The first weekend, Joe walked in, took the only open bed and said "well I guess this is my bed." Based on that alone, my dad told me he knew we would be best friends.
But, most importantly, going away to school really made me grow up and learn how to act in the real world. I'm not just talking about doing laundry or not showing up to class drunk. I mean how to solve a problem when other people depend on you - like when I had to get 15 guys out to San Jose for the collegiate roller hockey championships as a sophomore. Or make my mom proud - like when I achieved her goal for me of two A's and no parking tickets in one semester. Or how to let people know how much they mean to me - like when I drove 14 hours in less than two days to make it home just in time to miss a eulogy at a funeral, but still give them the hug they needed.
Before I wrap up, I want to say goodbye to all those I may not stay in touch with despite how much we tell each we will. To all The Spectrum people I have become such great friends with in too short a time, to all the people I lived with, and to the girl I've called almost every night to say goodnight to for the last two years.
So if you're thinking of going away, whether it be transferring, going to grad school or taking a job somewhere else in the country, think of the quote that I read almost every day outside my English classroom senior year of high school that made me leave my cocoon:
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain
Email: bryan.feiler@ubspectrum.com
