"Oh, so you go to UB? Doctor or engineer?"
"English major, actually."
"Oh…"
Despite popular belief, UB isn't only home to science majors. That doesn't stop people from constantly making assumptions that we're in the sciences just because we look tired (we work at The Spectrum; we're here over 40 hours a week).
UB is a large and diverse school. Naturally, it cannot only attract future doctors and engineers. The English department here is actually one of the best in the country (in our slightly biased opinion…). But even though we're in our perfect major, we have noticed that there are still a few things we could complain about. Here is our list:
1. Mispronounce a word? Spelling flub? Use the wrong form of "their/they're/there?" Use a semi-colon when you should have used a dash? Someone will call you out on it. Our friends have taken to yelling "English major," in a tone dripping with sarcasm and disdain if we make even the tiniest error.
2. And even though we acknowledge that everyone is human and makes mistakes, sometimes the complete destruction of the English language we see in our Facebook feeds makes us want to vomit. Everywhere. We're almost positive it causes absolutely no strain to type out the full word "you." So if we see "u," consider yourself deleted off of our friends lists.
3. "Oh, so you're going to be a teacher?" The answer is no. Not every English major is meant to be a teacher. Trust us, you do not want us to mold the minds of your future offspring. Just because we love the English language, literature, and writing, it doesn't mean we can force your children to.
4. If you're an English major, every single one of your non-English-major friends will ask you to edit their papers. Honestly, we love editing; it's kind of disgusting how much we love it. But when we have our own finals (which are almost always in research paper-form), correcting your run-on sentences and incorrect use of "its" and "it's" makes us want to slam our heads into the wall and throw dictionaries in your general direction.
5. We're never going to get jobs. No explanation necessary.
6. The reason we became English majors is because we enjoy a good book. However, staying up until 2 a.m. reading Paradise Lost by Milton cuts into our valuable time reading authors and books we truly enjoy. Shakespeare was a cool guy and all, but sometimes we just want to get inside Chuck Palahniuk's twisted brain.
7. MLA style > everything else.
But when it comes down to it, we couldn't imagine being in another major. And while some studies might have a set job, we revel in the fact that we indubitably love what we study. We'll worry about the future once we get there.
Email: rebecca.bratek@ubspectrum and sara.dinatale@ubspectrum.com
