It's easy to hear the word "crush" and think back to our elementary school days – the time before we truly grasped the emotion of love and when a serious relationship was just a far-fetched idea.
Although you may not notice it, crushes don't always stay in the sixth grade, when a boy gave you a card at the Valentine's dance and you blushed. Crushes actually follow us to college sometimes.
According to www.kidshealth.org, a crush is when: "you both like basketball, listen to the same music, and eat strawberry ice cream with chocolate chips."
While this definition is obviously targeted at children, it's not so far off from our feelings now. A crush usually sparks before you truly get to know somebody. It originates when you get a little bit nervous when you're around a friend/coworker/classmate, though you can't understand why.
You don't necessarily want a relationship with the person, but at the same time you're interested in something deeper than simply letting his banana soak in your chocolate like fondue. You find that, all of a sudden, you want to know everything about him, and you feel like you can be yourself around him, although he doesn't really know you yet. You admire him, you smile when you think of him, but above all, you're confused.
What do you do when you're trapped in this situation? My advice: just listen to The Beatles and let it be.
It's fun to have a crush, to catch your mind wandering in class and find that you're thinking about him. It's nice to imagine what his lips would feel like against yours, and to grin at the thought of him wrapping his arms around you and telling you that he crushes you back.
In most cases, though, the illusion is better than the real thing, and it's not worth it to act on feelings that aren't so deep. This situation has potential to end embarrassingly if you find out he doesn't feel the same way. Usually, crushes develop when two people spend a lot of time together, whether it's in class, at work, or at the gym. If you're in this pickle, and he's someone you see on a daily basis, it's better to save yourself future awkward interactions and refrain from telling him that he's been in your dream for the past three nights.
"Crushes are always better before you actually get to know them," said Brian Feigenbaum, a UB alumnus. "It's the idea of them that you're infatuated with. You imagine them being perfect, but once you learn they are human and have flaws, they just don't seem as appealing."
Crushes come and go easily, mostly because the feelings you have toward a crush aren't so intimate. If you're the type of person that has a "flavor of the week," and you change your crushes like you change your underwear, then you understand how easy it is to fall out-of-crush.
However, if you find that you can't seem to get this one out of your mind, and maybe, just maybe, he's found his way to your heart, then you may be feeling something a little bit more than a crush. These feelings will grow stronger over time, and in this case, I advise you to go for it so that you don't regret never giving the relationship a shot.
Crushes are healthy, fun, and very underrated. So throw some chocolate chips inside of your strawberry ice cream, listen to your favorite music, and turn on the television to watch a basketball game – enjoy the thought of your crush doing the same thing miles away, and just smile.
Email: keren.baruch@ubspectrum.com
