If there's one thing the Republican Party has done really well the past few weeks, it's demonstrate to the rest of the world just what homophobic, misogynistic, sex-obsessed, self-righteous, morally-misguided wackos constitute its ranks. (If you're a Republican and were offended by that, I'm not sorry.)
I mean, in just the last week we've witnessed legislation sanctioning medically-unnecessary-rape-by-sonogram-instrument in Virginia, GOP backlash against modes of contraception 99 percent of the adult females in this country have used at some point, and Rick Santorum make impassioned statements with utter conviction about how the private sex lives of private citizens should be the government's business. Get f***ed, GOP.
Now, I know not every Republican is a misinformed self-righteous prude with the sexual and moral sensibilities of a comically-large-buckle-hat-wearing Puritan, so characterizing all of them that way isn't in the least bit fair. Some Republicans, in fact, have jobs and own businesses and even graduated college. Some Republicans, it turns out, just like their taxes low and their government small. Some Republicans – nay, most Republicans, I'll maintain – are just ignorant classists who are just as stupid, hypocritical, and misinformed as their Bible-thumping sex-restricting gay-hating cousins.
Once again: If you're a Republican and were offended by that, I'm not sorry.
And, seeing as you probably don't believe me, and will viciously and insistently maintain that you aren't a classist, I've included two sample Republican talking points – ones you've probably heard and nodded in agreement to at some point – to bolster my claim:
Talking point one: "We can't tax the rich more! Rich people are the only ones who create jobs in this country!"
Talking point two: "Almost 50 percent of this country pays no federal taxes! Those freeloading high-living poor people need to pay their share!"
So, wait – taxes are uniformly bad and should be lowered for everyone except the poor? How does that make any sense? Shouldn't you guys be glad half the country pays no taxes, because that means we're half way toward achieving some sort of GOP fantasyland where no one pays any taxes at all and the government only exists to detain foreigners and drop bombs on brown people and things like roads and education magically pay for themselves somehow? How can you guys decry taxes for one group but then endorse them for another? To quote South Park's Johnnie Cochran caricature: "It does not. Make. Sense."
It doesn't make economic sense, seeing as the bottom 40 percent of the country that pays no federal taxes controls a whopping 0.2 percent of the nation's wealth (so taxing them will accomplish what, exactly?); it doesn't make social or ethical sense (given the extreme burden said portion of the population is under already); it doesn't make basic logical sense (see rhetorical-question-strewn rant above). In fact, it only makes sense if you've got something against the poor.
Add to this mess of hate-motivated hypocrisy the fact that a lot of you guys are also rabidly Christian (which, by the way, just what parables did Jesus demand payment with interest for multiplying all those loaves and fishes, or refuse to resurrect Lazarus because he was uninsured, or demand one not love his or her neighbor if that neighbor happens to be black, poor, or gay, exactly?), and you're left with a totally incompatible clusterf*** of mutually exclusive ideas – an Orwellian-level exercise in triple-think that only the very stupid, the very delusional, or the very hateful could possibly endorse with a straight face.
Now, I realize that harangue probably won't change many Republican minds (thinking never was your guys' strong suit), but what it will do is give you all a taste of the single-minded contempt your party spews out on a daily basis toward everyone who isn't a like-minded rich male WASP, and especially the poor.
Don't like it? Well, I'm not sorry.
Email: eabenoit@buffalo.edu
