Buffalo has seen its share of hard times, and right now we are in the middle of some. The Sabres are playing like mice and the Bills…well, let's just not talk about that right now.
We do, however, have a brand new feather in our cap to flaunt around the nation.
With Valentine's Day quickly approaching people around the nation are looking for a special someone to make the sappiest day of the year at least somewhat tolerable, without eating ice cream and Cheetos naked on your beanbag chair.
According to the online dating website Chemistry.com, the way for ladies to do that is to find themselves a sensitive man. Just our luck, a survey compiled by the website says that Buffalo is number five on its list of cities with the most sensitive men.
The top spot went to Pompano Beach, Fla., but we can finally put those big foam hands to use, albeit with each finger extended.
To determine how soft and tender a city is Chemistry.com used one of the most detailed, powerful systems ever devised to gauge the level of a man's sensitivity. Its dating survey includes a question about how sensitive you think you are. If you answered "very sensitive," you were grouped together by city and voila! A wild list appears.
Helen Fisher, chief scientific advisor for the website, designed the 56 question personality test that Chemistry.com uses, told The Huffington Post that the people who answered tended also to be more traditional.
So what makes Buffalo so mushy?
Maybe it has something to do with the unending series of failures that we experience. It's possibly whittled us down from strong, burly, northern lumberjacks to feeble hipsters in touch with our feminine side.
Possibly we have a kind of Robert Frost pessimism brought about by the crippling cold weather that makes us more sensitive to the feelings of others. It's commonly known that cold, snowy weather causes something called Seasonal Affective Depression, and that might have an effect on how touchy-feely we are.
What's most probable, however, is a combination of all of the above and something a little more nefarious. Guys are just lying to seem more appealing to the modern lady.
Does that mean that we are the number five best liars in the nation?
Not really. Men are going to assume that women want a man who is mature and honest about their feelings, especially the kind that are cruising for babes on dating websites.
Anybody desperate enough to jump on Chemistry.com is probably already desperate enough to say anything that sounds good to get a piece of action.
Unfortunately, that's how it works on the Internet. You can say anything you want to get attention without actually meaning it.
If you're on the lookout for a nice and sensitive Buffalo man head down to the city and go to a hipster coffee shop with a dude playing acoustic guitar.
At least then you'll be able to meet the person before discovering that they're a terrifying creeper with a past history of sexual abuse.
