When people say they lead a double life, usually they are referring to something they are ashamed of. I have no shame about my double life; however, other people want me to.
I write erotic literature. And I'm good at it.
I'm not really shy about it, either. I willingly approached Editor in Chief Andrew Wiktor about this column thinking it would add to The Spectrum's sex issue because I see a lot in the industry. I have an idea of what people like and what they don't like; I look at things in a different way than the usual voyeur.
Let's start with an adage that is quite commonly a joke among women I talk with: Men watch porn to enjoy themselves; girls watch porn to get ideas.
As an English major, I respect the English language. While writing, I felt like I was violating a language that could be beautiful and delicate, and that was fun.
If there's one thing I've noticed it's that women like to read their porn as opposed to watch it. Women want their porn the same way they want their lives: generally, with a hunky man with rippling abs and with a freaky style that they would never admit to. I'm being serious! That little nerdy girl in the back of the room is a depraved tiger, and she's probably subscribed to my stuff.
Hair pulling, biting, they're all into that. Like I said, women come to me when they haven't found anything else that works, and they tell me exactly what they want.
But, there's a reason I'm writing about being an erotic author here, and I'm not outwardly publicizing myself in everyday life. There is a stigma in our society about sex that is more and more apparent as lawmakers have their way with our rights.
The sex industry is totally taboo in today's world, one that its benefactors aren't to talk about. Sex in and of itself is seen as an act that is often shunned and not in the common vernacular. If sex is in common conversation, usually it's in the context of "I banged that girl" or "that chick is such a slut." Sex is never simply sex.
But that is what it is. Sex is just sex. It's to make babies, and it's to feel good. To relieve stress and to distract the mind; It's an exercise and it's a sleeping aid. Sex is good for you.
But no one will tell you that. We live in a world where abstinence-only education is normal. We live in a world where porn conjures up ideas of sexual deviancy.
In Europe, you wouldn't see this kind of rampant censorship about the human body. This sex fear is something that is uniquely American. Sex fear is producing much of the keynote debates in Congress, right up to the discussion on gay marriage.
Our country acts as if this one biological process is worthy of a tax break and as if the insertion of an organ into an orifice is something so unnervingly spectacular that it has to be kept for one person and one person only: your spouse. If you engage in the practice outside of a binding contract, you're at libel to lose a job of power.
Maybe it's just me, but I think sex is sex and if a Congressman wants it on Craigslist, then good for him. Maybe that makes me strange.
There's nothing deviant about me writing erotic fiction, and there's nothing deviant about the shy girl in the back of the class loving it. There's nothing wrong with having kinks, and it's good to be a freak in bed. Sex is good for you, and I'm writing this column to change the culture.
I live a double life. I write porn and I love it.
E-mail: meganlea@buffalo.edu
