To the writer of the anonymous, homophobic personal in last Friday's issue of The Spectrum:
There are a lot of ways I could respond to you, believe me. I could go the easy route and just insult your intelligence and general moral fiber. But that wouldn't make for a very good column.
I could also spend this 3,200 characters spouting the clichéd statistics and pro-gay arguments, but I know that you, just like me and everyone who will read this column, have heard them a thousand times before.
So instead, I'd like to take a little time to consider what you said in your personal and explain to you why your opinion, while it is your birthright, is completely and utterly wrong.
First of all, I'd like to examine your idea of "tradition." In 1664, interracial marriage was considered "wrong" and "non-traditional" and was thus made illegal in the colony of Massachusetts. Not until 1967, with the Supreme Court decision of Loving v. Virginia, was the non-traditional concept of interracial marriage made legal and the racist "tradition" done away with, at least in U.S. law.
Marriage itself has a myriad of smaller sub-traditions. Polygamy, arranged marriages, dowries and marriages through proxy all were at one point considered "traditional" and, more importantly, acceptable. Now, these concepts are largely ignored in our modern American culture, and many are considered offensive toward women, as well they should be.
Secondly, I would like to take a moment to consider your idea that heterosexual marriage is the only kind of marriage with "structure." A recently published 24-year-long study reported that out of 78 children with lesbian parents, none were domestically or sexually abused. Conversely, 26 percent of "traditional" heterosexual families deal with domestic abuse, while 8.3 percent must cope with sexual abuse.
Now, this is not to say that all lesbian couples make perfect parents and are therefore superior to heterosexual families. That isn't the point at all.
The point is that, while heterosexual couples run the constant, unfortunate risk of having a child accidentally, this is not possible for homosexual couples. Where heterosexual couples can conceive without being fiscally, mentally or emotionally prepared for their forthcoming child, homosexual couples must be completely ready before raising a child is even an option.
Gay and lesbian families must be equipped for parenthood before they can adopt and must be positive that they want a child. This guarantee of readiness ensures that LGBT families are the loving, caring families that children deserve and proves that they are certainly not family units lacking "structure."
Finally, I'd like to reflect on the entire nature of your personal. As a gay male with every intention of marrying, adopting children, and taking part in the foster system, I found it highly offensive. I can personally handle being offended, though; when you are part of the LGBTQ community, you get used to it.
No, when I first read your personal, it wasn't my own ego I thought of. Instead, I thought of all the young men and women who are where I was a year ago: closeted and living each day in self-hatred and fear of discovery.
When you are a young man or woman struggling with your sexuality, you can't help but take everything personally. Statements like the ones you made on Friday are the ones that lead LGBTQ youth to commit suicide, like the youths whose tragic deaths made headlines in October.
As I stated before, your opinion is your birthright. We live in America, where I have every right to love men, and you have every right to be completely wrong about the nature of that love.
Though your homophobia is nothing short of insulting, I realize it is your right to disagree with me, and I will happily discuss this topic with you, or anyone else for that matter. After all, my e-mail is below for a reason.
E-mail: clinton.hodnett@ubspectrum.com
