Grade: D
A surefire way to bring on the wrath of the gods is making a film about them that is so terrible, it's insulting.
Clash of the Titans is the remake of the 1981 cult classic of the same name. Instead of the endearing and cheesy stop motion effects, a multi-million dollar CGI budget and 3D effects have taken its place. This can't help the final product, though.
The film is a combination of bad acting, terrible writing and uninspired directing. It looks pretty, though.
The film centers around the world of ancient Greece and the pantheon of the gods. Man has had enough of the reign of the gods and has decided to no longer worship them. Many of the gods want Zeus (Liam Neeson, The Wildest Dream) to wipe out the human race, but the king of the gods still loves mankind and hopes for them to change their minds.
Enter Hades (Ralph Fiennes, Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang), who has concocted a convoluted plan to get the mortals to worship them again.
Stuck in the middle of all of this is the hero, Perseus (Sam Worthington, Avatar). After Hades kills his family, he sets on a path of vengeance against the gods.
The hero joins up with a group of cannon fodder to go save a kingdom or something. By the end, all the plot points intertwine into one of the worst climaxes ever.
The story and the writing are downright terrible. It is an inane and confusing story, and although it has potential, it seems to just push the movie toward each action scene. Hades's "brilliant" plan is disgustingly transparent, but the characters are written as idiots and not able to comprehend it.
Character work and development is horrible and nearly nonexistent. Perseus is written as little more than a thug. The men he joins up with are nothing more than bodies to be killed off, and as monsters slaughter them, the audience won't be able to remember their names or care for them. The so-called love interest, Io (Gemma Arterton, St Trinian's 2: The Legend of Fritton's God), is only a walking plot device.
Dialogue does not rise above the usual big-budget blockbuster level. Characters' lines are trite and forced, and the film is filled with unfunny one-liners that are nothing short of embarrassing.
Worthington strikes out yet again. He brings his boring tough act out of Pandora and the robotic American wasteland and into the world of myth. Worthington's character is dull and it's hard to get attached to him or his plight. He becomes laughable trying to force out emotional lines through his gritted teeth while his Australian accents comes and goes.
Fiennes, as the god of the underworld, fares slightly better than Worthington, but not by much. Fiennes can be entertaining at times but most of his screen time he is just a bore to watch.
The highlight of the group is undoubtedly Neeson. The actor has some uncanny ability where, no matter how terrible the movie, he is able to pull off a decent performance – see Star Wars: Episode I. The only real problem with Neeson is that he is basically Ra's Al Ghul from Batman Begins, only slightly nicer.
The land of ancient Greece is filled with English, American, Australian, Scottish, Russian and possibly Italian accents. Nobody told the actors what a Greek accent sounds like or how to keep a consistent one. Along with the poor performances the directing does not fare well either.
Director Louis Leterrier does an abysmal job at capturing the action of Clash of the Titans. Many of the action scenes are nearly incomprehensible to look at, with the camera uncontrollably jumping around. Combine that with the 3D and it leaves the audience with a massive headache.
The CGI is great to look at, but in this film, it is simply a crutch for the rest of the problems. Clash of the Titans is nothing more than a terrible film wrapped up in a nice package.
E-mail: arts@ubspectrum.com
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