Before coming to college, my perception was that everyone got along because, well, why wouldn't they? During my four years at UB, I couldn't help but notice a little animosity between the "Upstaters" and the "Downstaters." Here is where it gets interesting.
I guess you could call me biased because I am a Long Islander myself and matriculate in Upstate New York. I would have never guessed that there would be so much hate generated toward me. I did a little math to find out how many of 'us' there are.
There are approximately 18,000 undergrads, and 4,320 of them are the chosen ones (I mean Long Islanders). This means that 11,160 are not. I just can't imagine that Long Islanders are down 6,840 people and we still seem to make enough noise to make it into the Generation personals each week.
I feel warm and fuzzy inside - thanks all.
I guess the way we talk is funny because we add an extra 'w' in everything like "dawg" and "tawk," but then again, Upstaters add an extra 'a' as in "oh my gaaaad." So the only difference here is really the amount of extra letters we put in our words, but who's got the time to count syllables anyway?
It's funny how lots of us are stereotyped. Some of my personal favorite claims include: my daddy pays for everything, I drive a brand new luxury car and I wear sweatpants. The truth might shock you, but here it is: I have a job, I know how to work for what I want and I drive a Honda not a Lexus. To be completely honest, I do wear sweatpants and I love them, so I'll give you that one.
So as of right now it's Haters -1, Laura -0. But who are you to judge what I wear anyway? Maybe I gained 35 pounds and sweatpants are all that fit me right now. You never know.
But hey, you know what? You're right. There are definitely 4,320 of us who look exactly the same, and we're all running around on campus with BMWs and big sunglasses.
If you can't detect the sarcasm then stop reading now, because you will struggle with the rest of this.
Here's the real kicker: Not only am I an LI girl, I am in a sorority, too. I'm assuming most of you just gasped with surprise, thinking how such a plague to the earth could be so literate and have such a prestigious column like this. Well, I guess my Upstate teacher looked past a stereotype and offered me a position among mostly all Upstaters, with whom I all get along just fine, thank you.
Did you know that UB's homecoming queen was a Long Island girl? I'm not sure who she was, but I heard she was pretty cool. Just kidding, I know her quite well and she must have done something right to be chosen to represent 18,000 undergrads. You are all reigned over by the ones you fear most. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
My point is clear: let's stop the hate. Even though I look forward to reading the personals (because let's face it, they are hysterical), let's see some new material. If you reject the unfamiliar, try welcoming it.
Take a trip to the Island (no passport needed) and you'll learn to appreciate the place I call home. Surrounded by water and provided with bagels you don't have to toast to enjoy, pizza and garlic knots, it's hard not to fall in love.
Even though this is my call to action to all the haters, I can't bring myself to bash them as they have done to me. I have many friends not from the Island, and I love and appreciate them for who they are, not where they're from. Maybe you should try it sometime - it's a beautiful thing.
So, okay, we talk funny and are loud and wear Ugg boots because DUH it's 10 degrees outside, but just remember the next time you want to knock us, you get a little half inch in the back of Generation, but I get almost half a page right in front to come back and defend myself and the best place on Earth.
I can't wait for the e-mails to start rolling in. Better yet, stop by the office and tell me how you really feel - we can hug it out. By the way, the final score was Haters -1, Laura -2 because I'm the one writing this and I rigged it. Oh, and because my column is bigger than yours.
