Hi. My name is Alyssa Kramer. I am a 22-year-old college student that is about to graduate and I still have no idea what to do with my life. True story.
I've spent four years at UB and tried on several different majors and pretty much every minor that the school has. Still, nothing. I've worked in the office of admissions, been a UBSTAR, tour guide, resident advisor, research assistant in several labs and a radio station intern. I've taken classes from cell biology to cognitive psychology to communication ethics. Still, absolutely and positively nothing.
This becomes a problem when people keep coming up to me and asking the question of the year: "So, what are you doing after graduation?" I get closer and closer to internally combusting each time I have to answer.
Sometimes when it's someone I don't know that well and won't see again, I'll say that I'm going to be joining the fight against AIDS in Africa for two years and then getting my doctorate degree in epidemiology. This scares them away. Other times I have told people that I'm going to take a solitary trip to the Mediterranean Sea to study the mating habits of Orca whales. That one always gets a good reaction.
As a kid you're always told that you have all the time in the world to decide on what you'd like to do when you grow up. It's OK to believe those words for a while; even up to the first few years of college since most schools have that convenient undecided major.
However, for better or worse, the "growing up" actually occurs and you start wishing you could go back to your sixth grade English class when the most stress you had came from standing in front of your peers presenting a book report on Abraham Lincoln.
Now here I am, about to graduate college with a bachelor of science in psychology. However, there's a slight problem; I have no interest in pursuing psychology as a career. Don't get me wrong, it has its interesting points. Pavlov's dog and Little Albert kept me from sleeping during class but they're not enough to keep me awake for the rest of my life.
I thought by my senior year it would all be clear but it's not. Now it's almost time to graduate and head out into the real world where my parents won't pay my cell phone bill anymore and I have to find some way to cover my cavities, broken bones, and fender benders. How am I supposed to appeal to employers with a degree I don't even like?
"Hi Mr. Smith, I think you should hire me for a permanent job after college. I'm extremely qualified to do absolutely nothing but really enjoy reality television, coloring, nice scented candles and holidays. My skills include stapling, alphabetizing, adding small numbers (1-10) and being on time. Actually Mr. Smith, I'm never on time so that last one was a lie. When would you like me to start?"
I know that I'm not the only one caught at this fork in the road. There are others of you out there snapping at people who ask if you're excited to graduate and secretly hoping to fail a class so you're forced to stay in school for at least another semester.
My point is this. It's OK to not know. So much pressure is put on college grads in making that first leap into the job market and real world. Society makes us feel that we only have four years to determine our future when really, whether we believe it or not, we have our whole lives to figure that out.
Some people graduate, settle down with a significant other and head off into the career they've always planned for themselves, which is great. Others graduate and step into the unknown while juggling different jobs and eating Spaghettio's (they would obviously upgrade from Ramen) every night in their dumpy, mouse-infested apartment.
If you're the latter, what do you do? You experience as much as you can, learn from your mistakes and buy a lot of mousetraps - or maybe you keep the mice as friends, I don't know.
I want to make it clear to myself and to everyone else that there is nothing wrong with not knowing. In a way, not knowing is more exciting. Your future is not set in stone and anything could present itself. For me, spending four years in college and still not finding what I'm interested in wasn't all bad. At least now I know that I'm not interested in chemistry and calculus.
Someone told me once that it's not good to spend your whole life waiting to "find yourself." Instead, you should spend your life creating yourself.
To my fellow 2007 graduates who may be finding themselves in the same situation that I do, don't graduate with an uneasy feeling in your stomach. Graduate proudly and remind yourself that you don't have to pull all-nighters anymore. Sooner or later, whatever it is you are looking for will find you. I don't know how I know this but I do. Even if your college years are over, your life is just beginning and that's something to look forward to.
