What's that? There are too many ice cubes in your water? I'm so sorry to inconvenience you. Oh, you wanted Sweet and Low and we only have Equal? Let me just run across the street to Tops and grab you some. Be right back.
There are way too many people flooding restaurants with absolutely no idea of how to act in public. They especially don't know how to treat servers. I know this because I've been a waitress for two years.
Sure, the money isn't bad, but trust me, the things we put up with sometimes can far exceed the monetary benefits. Every now and then I just want to throw down my apron and walk out in the middle of a dinner rush while breaking as many dishes as I can. Oops, were those plates expensive?
This past New Year's Eve, I was the lucky one to work until the restaurant closed at 10 p.m. As expected, business was slow. It had begun to torrentially downpour so things were looking good for getting out on time. We were sitting and staring at the clock when in trotted a lovely little couple leading five runny-nosed, sticky fingered, rosy cheeked children that must have missed their daily dose of Ritalin.
The clock on the wall mocked me - there were only five minutes left before closing. I regrettably told the family through gritted teeth and a death stare that we were still open and grabbed a handful of crayons for the ankle biters. I proceeded to wait on them as quickly as possible.
One hour, a broken highchair, and a ketchup-spattered table later, they decided it was time for them to go home so they wouldn't miss the ball dropping at midnight. I consoled myself with the hope that at least I would get a good tip.
Wrong. My tip consisted of $1 in quarters.
Another time, a boy threw up all over the table and floor. The parents said that they had to take "Timmy" home right away and asked me to cancel their order. I was left with a smelly mess and a note that said, "Thanks." Thanks?
The thing is, these experiences don't just happen once in a blue moon. Unfortunately, there are many, many more.
From a server's perspective, I would like to point out that while a verbal tip is completely appreciated, a comment like "thanks, you're awesome," doesn't exactly pay the rent. If you are just going to leave a good old verbal tip, at least tell a manager so they are also aware of how awesome we are at our jobs. Servers make well below minimum wage because they are expected to make up the difference in tips.
It may also be of value to point out that you are not the only guest the server is waiting on. Ultimately, we are there to provide you with an excellent dining experience, but is it really a big deal for you to have grape jelly instead of blackberry? Even if it is, just don't ask us when we have a tray of drinks in one hand and are pulling our hair out with the other.
If you're not ready to order yet, that's fine with us. Just don't make us stand there for 20 minutes while you debate over the chicken and roast beef. The little dance we do while waiting for your order isn't for entertainment. Our feet are killing us.
It seems to me lately that the phrase, "The customer is always right," has been taken a little bit too literally.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize that when you said you wanted a grilled cheese sandwich, it meant you wanted a chicken salad with light ranch dressing and extra croutons. I must be an idiot. Let me just get my manager over here right away to give all of this to you for free.
It is completely reasonable to voice that you are unsatisfied with the service or your meal, but not to create a scene and yell obscenities. Remember that we are working as hard as we can for you.
Anyone who has seen the movie "Waiting" with Ryan Reynolds and Dane Cook might have a pretty good understanding of what it is really like behind the scenes of restaurant life. At times I can very much relate to the girl that curses Tourette's style in the kitchen, but walks out with a painted smile and greets her next table as if there's nowhere else she'd rather be.
All I know is that in order to get through waitressing shifts I try to keep my skin tough and humor light. At the end of the day I count my tips and funny stories, because between the two, that's what keeps the job interesting.
No, I'm sorry sir, we don't sell alcohol here. I can tell that you really need some whiskey. No, I don't know where the closest liquor store is. Yes, I wish we had a liquor license too. You have absolutely no idea.
