M.J., Dominique, V.C., Dr. J, and Kobe are going to the 2007 Sprite Slam Dunk contest this upcoming All-Star Weekend in Las Vegas, but you can bet your 401K that LeBron James won't be there with them.
The former five, all previous contest champions, will be judging the event featuring last year's sham champion Nate "14-times" Robinson, Tyrus Thomas, event favorite Gerald Green and super-sleeper Dwight Howard.
King James and many of today's young superstars are conspicuously absent as they have been for much of the past two decades, save for Carter and Tracy McGrady in 2000 and Bryant in '97. Unfortunately, many of The Association's young stars treat the dunk contest like Tim Hardaway treats Lance Bass, Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O'Donnell, John Amaechi... OK, I'll stop now.
But to the older generations, the dunk contest meant something. It used to mean so much that Erving used it as a stage for one of the most memorable dunks in history. You know, that jump-from-the-free-throw-line slam that became sports history?
Jordan and Dominique became household names in part because of their contest battles in the '80s and Jordan's take on Erving's free-throw-line takeoff is as much a part of his legend as his hanging tongue. Spud Webb made it cool to be short and Dominique just made dunking cool, period.
It used to be that you turned on the dunk contest as the highlight of the All-Star Weekend. I remember watching the uber-acrobatic Kenny Walker win in '89 before knee injuries sapped him of his ups and his "Sky-walker" nickname. Then there was Harold Miner's ri-DONK-ulous behind the basket, sideline dunk. That's still one of the most mystifying attempts I've ever seen - right up there with Carter's mind-blowing display in 2000.
But I don't remember much about Fred Jones, the 2004 champion. And the only thing I remember about Jason Richardson's back-to-back wins in '03 and '02 was, well, Jason Richardson.
For god's sake, I'm still shaking internally from the year Brent Barry won it all.
And for all this misfortune and demeaning of what once was one of the NBA's signature events, the league's highest players seem disturbingly apathetic to the plight.
But something happened two years ago that changed everything. Maybe David Stern got lucky, but something tells me that sports' smartest commissioner knew exactly what he was doing when he inserted the young and hungry trio of Amare Stoudemire, Josh Smith and J.R. Smith into a dying event.
The result was the best contest in over 15 years and so many standing ovations, it was pointless to sit. Amare's off-the-backboard-off-Steve-Nash's-head dunk was only topped by Josh Smith honoring Dominique's windmills from '88 and '90. Smith's tribute was made even better by Smith donning Dominique's old number 21 Hawks jersey during the dunk.
Even last year's event was an incredible two-man show featuring the first ever sudden-death dunk-off. For a man standing 5-foot 5-inches, Robinson's dunks were out of this world, regardless of Robinson's multiple attempts. But the dunk of the night, Andre Iguodala's dunk from BEHIND the basket after getting a pass off the back of the backboard was the single best dunk I've seen since Carter put his entire forearm in the basket.
This year should be even better, even if LeBron and company are too good for something clearly built for the casual fan. Reportedly, in practice, Gerald Green has been practicing a dunk where a teammate throws a ball off the Celtics' 1986 Championship banner that's 30 feet over the basket and Green catches the ball and slams it. Granted, there will be no championship banners in Vegas this weekend, but the athleticism and creativity is undeniable. Green is going to flat-out rock the house.
And if Green doesn't do it, or even if he does bring down the roof, Dwight Howard might just show him up in the same place where Green once immortalized Buffalo alumnus Mark Bortz in a summer game (Type "Gerald Green summer league dunk" into YouTube and prepare to be amazed - and a little ashamed too). Word is that Howard has been practicing a "kiss-the-rim" attempt. If successful, Howard would somehow manage to dunk two balls and kiss the rim - all while in mid-air. Seriously, wow. Seeing as how my buddy Marco won't be there, I might have to step in for him and strip naked and run around the house if he pulls that one off.
This is all not including the fact that the contest also features this generation's Spud Webb in Robinson and Thomas, who was drafted in the top five of this year's draft based purely on his athleticism. If you get a chance, head over to YouTube (did I mention that it's the single greatest invention in the last 10 years?) and type in "Tyrus Thomas Dunk". That dunk says it all.
So you know what, LeBron? Maybe dunk contests are bourgie, as elder LeBron claimed in one of your commercials, but give me the Josh Smiths, Nate Robinsons and Gerald Greens any day.
They care, and it shows.
