One of the hardest adjustments for me to make since leaving home a few, short semesters ago has not been adjusting to college-level academics or the pressure to combine drugs, alcohol and promiscuous sex.
I needed to make a much harder adjustment.
I had to start recovering from an addiction that's been affecting aspects of my personal, professional and social lives for much longer than I'd like to remember. This goes way back, since before I found out that in college you can make every night the weekend if you really want to.
Alarm clocks be damned, I wouldn't wake the hell up.
Hi, my name is Tom and I'm a snooze-bar maniac.
I mean, I had my reasons for it, sure. For 13 or so years, I had someone whose sole objective every morning was to spend an hour or so trying to get me out of bed and in school, or wherever else I needed to be.
She was my mom, and as great of an alarm clock she was, there are countless other ways in which she made an impact on me.
So I'm in the process of cutting the "just ten more minutes" out of my morning routine - cold turkey. Because it wasn't just ten minutes anymore. It was twenty, thirty, or an hour or three. I couldn't let it go on for one more, sweet, ten-minute glory nap.
I was late or falling behind in lots of things that were important to me. But I'm not ashamed anymore. I now know that there are countless other people out there with the same problem as me. Good people, who just can't kick the snooze horse.
It wasn't hard, knowing just how unsatisfying those early morning minutes were. They just didn't add up anymore, no matter how good it felt to slam that snooze button, I remembered I came to UB to do things other than sleep.
So I made a resolution. Then I started the long hard road to recovery. I took steps in the right direction, and I'm finding the situations that were bothering me are improving.
But just look at how long it's taken me to settle on a resolution for the New Year.
What's today - the 2nd? Of February? Now that's procrastination.
I'm Tom, and I'm a snooze bar maniac, but I've got to admit, I'm one who's only a few hours "sober." That's right - I had a bit of a relapse this morning. And you know what? As disappointing as it was, I realized that I've got another chance tomorrow.
So scratch that, because there are plenty changes and improvements that I'd like to work on.
If you exercise regularly, I heard you actually feel more rested and less tired. So I thought about resolving to work out more. I made a resolution to do so.
And I'd like to say that the notion was short-lived, but just didn't catch on. The truth is that I didn't even try to go to the gym.
And after several similarly futile attempts at self-improvement, I found that there aren't too many I can stand behind.
So I stuck with something easy: being nicer to everybody, or at least trying to.
I know there are lots of other people like me. People far away from home. They've left behind their younger lives, old friends and memories, but are somehow unable to also leave behind the cruel nature of "kids being kids."
Everybody gets that chance to change themselves, but when you've got to worry about what classes to take, which professors take attendance and where to get trashed for the night, it's often a lot easier to allow yourself to be cruel and uncaring than to try to be a better person.
I guess that's something I can stick with. I wouldn't call myself a great guy, but I can resolve to try to be a little nicer to people. It's strange, I find that I'm again reminded of mornings back when it was my mom who worried about if I got out of bed in the morning.
Something she used to say that I could resolve to stick with:
"Try to do something nice for someone today. Something you wouldn't usually do, and tell me about it."
Whether it was holding the door for somebody or taking part in a more genuine act of kindness, I used to do it, at least once a day, at least a few times.
One time each day, I think I can sacrifice my pride or something even more difficult for people I love, people I like, and people I don't even know. It's not been easy, but I think I've found an even easier way to carelessly forget about what was really important: how I treated other people.
So I'm challenging myself to listen to my mom's advice. I'm challenging everyone that reads this to do the same. I think it's an easy thing to do.
I mean, it couldn't turn out as bad as my resolution to write my papers, assignments and columns by deadline.
