The dead of winter is almost over and all of us that have been in college-sloth mode are scrambling to get back those warm-weather bodies.
To aid our plight, the diet industry supplies us with countless easy fixes that come in forms of pills, shakes, specialized diets and workout machines.
One such product that I find particularly entertaining is RebounderAir, a proud product of the American Institution of Reboundology.
This breakthrough in workout technology was invented by Albert Earl Carter, who according the Web site, invented his product after "recognizing that his extraordinary good health and superior strength were connected to his work on the trampoline."
That's right, Carter's great invention is a mini-trampoline that "has proven to be an efficient form of exercise with virtually no harmful side defects" and "the low impact (such as the light pressure on the thighs) stimulates drainage, easing waste material out of the lymphatic system. In approximately two weeks, you should notice that your legs, buttocks, and ankles are becoming toned and those orange peel-like cellulite deposits are smoothing out."
You've got to be kidding.
While the RebounderAir may be one of the more absurd products that are being sold as a weight-loss tool, it is no more ridiculous than the rest of the diet industry, whose goal is to keep America fat.
All the expert testimonials about Trimspa, Thigh Master, Atkins, the South Beach Diet, Slimfast, those stupid exercise balls and every other product out there means nothing. They are just ways of convincing Americans that the perfect body is only eight weeks and three easy payments of $39.95 away.
The problem is that these things don't work and the people selling them know it. Sure you may lose some weight initially, but in the long run the pills and shakes are bad for you and do nothing to help change your metabolism, or your lifestyle. All of these products are part of an industry that works to make weight loss a mystery to average people, while keeping them fat, unhappy and spending.
The diet industry preys on the fact that people don't know their bodies, are addicted to sugar and fast food and are looking for a quick fix.
But if their products worked, then why are these companies still in business?
The reality of the matter is that losing weight is simple, so simple that there is nothing to sell. And for free, right now, I'm going to tell you the secret that will single-handedly help you lose as much weight as you want, while at the same time destroying the diet industry forever. Ready? Here it is:
Stop eating so much and start running!
There it is. It's that simple. All you have to do is take in less than 2,000 calories in three healthy meals a day and exercise for 45 minutes to an hour three or four times a week. The exercise doesn't even have to be running-you can walk, bike, go rock climbing or whatever else fits your life.
No shakes, no pills, no jumping on a kiddy trampoline like some kind of over-weight Kangaroo with man boobs, just burning calories and eating less.
I know it's hard to cut out all that fast food, drink less beer and go for a three or four mile jog a few times a week, but if you want that body, and much more importantly better health, that is what it's going to take.
I'm not standing on a pedestal as the perfect specimen of good health but I have put on and lost more weight in my college career then I would like to admit. So, speaking from experience, if you really want to shed some pounds, stop being tricked and disappointed by these lies and go out and do it the right way. It takes more time and effort than the other methods claim to, but it won't cost you your life savings and I guarantee that you'll get the results that the commercials promise but never deliver.
