Cannibalism - the act of humans eating humans - is taboo and generally frowned upon in civilized societies. While many indigenous cultures have been known to indulge in the delicacies of man meat, we tend to criticize the ritual as "inhumane" without proper contemplation.
The anti-cannibalistic mentality that we have today is a superstition that has been passed down and blindly accepted for generations.
Anthropologists used to judge the degree of a newly discovered culture's civility depending on whether or not they practiced cannibalism.
Personally, I don't understand why cannibalism gets the "savage" label when we, supposedly a civilized nation, invade countries, perform executions and ruin the environment. When you think about it, these "savages" who - 1) basked naked in a utopian society 2) didn't have to worry about student loans 3) enjoyed eating each other - appear to have been onto something.
Cannibalism is still practiced by a few indigenous cultures, but for us, it's limited to survival scenarios and serial killings. But who is to say that I can only enjoy a roasted rack of man-ribs if I'm Jeffrey Dahmer or trapped in the Himalayas?
I don't think it would do any harm if we reinstituted this long-lost custom and made humans a part of our regular diet. Not only would human meat be an excellent source of protein, but I suspect that based on taste and nutrition value, the manburger could replace the hamburger as America's favorite food.
Seriously, think of the benefits. Everyday 13 million American children go to bed hungry and 6,694 Americans die at about an average weight of 165 lbs. You do the math. I bet plenty of those young, growling bellies could be lulled to sleep with a nutrient-rich pound of bicep before bedtime.
Think about how much money it will save at funerals. Instead of paying for a coffin, a headstone and flowers, you get a free buffet. The Fore tribe of Papua, New Guinea commemorates their ancestors by devouring them after they pass. We on the other hand spend exorbitant amounts of money on a ceremony that is depressing and impractical.
Burying grandma in an expensive, airtight container does nothing for nobody. Hell, the worms don't even get to feed off of her; and grandma isn't giving anything back to the ecosystem from which she so liberally took.
I would die with much more comfort knowing that my body was going to be used for practical purposes. At my wake, my friends and family can joke about old times while gnawing on some marinated Ken stew with a side of potato salad.
I think we can all admit that when checking out some muscle-tight calves we've wondered what they'd taste like rotisseried and slathered in barbeque sauce. In 1981, Japanese student Issei Sagawa ate a friend and said, "Nothing was so delicious!" Unfortunately, it was not a consensual meal because he had to shoot her beforehand.
It's a shame Sagawa had to resort to such measures. Just as we give our organs to those in need, or our bodies to science, I think we should be able to give our meat to the hungry.
The media, however, has done nothing to help the image of the modern-day cannibal. Characters like Hannibal, or man-eating zombies give unfair portrayals of people who might be good, hardworking citizens.
I'm sure there are many honest, everyday people out there who wouldn't mind frying some real Canadian bacon or enjoying a shish kabob of cousin Joe.
Mexican muralist Diego Rivera said it best: "I believe that when man evolves a civilization higher than the mechanized but still primitive one he has now, the eating of human flesh will be sanctioned. For then man will have thrown off all of his superstitions and irrational taboos."
We can only hope that someday, instead of encouraging people to take a bite out of life, our society will allow us to take one out of the dead.
