After facing criticism over the hiring of a consulting firm to engage in long-term planning at UB, President John Simpson revealed more details about AVCOR Consulting to an anxious staff Friday afternoon.
Faculty members have complained that Simpson has failed to reveal key details about AVCOR to the faculty, but Simpson sought to allay those concerns during the meeting. Under a large sign reading, "Is this good for the UNIVERSITY?" Simpson introduced two staff members from AVCOR, Bob and Bob.
"Yeahhhh. I'd like to, uh, welcome a new member to our team. Uh, Bob Slydell," Simpson said. "He'll be helping us out a little here, asking some questions, making sure things go a little more smoothly."
"Oh and remember, next Friday is Hawaiian shirt day. Yeahhhh so, you know, if you want to, go ahead and uh, wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans ...," Simpson added.
Simpson explained that Slydell and his partner, Bob Porter, would be interviewing professors one by one over the next few weeks.
Some faculty interviewed by The Spectrum after the meeting still seemed to harbor concerns about AVCOR's role at the university.
"It's the same thing that happened at University of Santa Cruz," said Assistant Professor of English Tom Smytkowski. "You have an interview with a consultant and they bring in efficiency experts. You're interviewing for your own job!"
Other employees, however, did not appear to be as concerned.
"I don't care if they, if they lay me off either, because I, I told Bill that if he moves my desk one more time, then, then I'm quitting," said Milton Waddell, professor of economics. "And I told Beau too because they've moved my desk four times. I used to be by the window, where I could see the squirrels and they were merry."
One-on-one interviews
The Spectrum was granted permission to observe a one-on-one evaluation between Bob, Bob, and Associate Director of Student Life Dave Ballard.
Slydell asked Ballard to explain his job duties in detail - what he does on any given day, what his goals are, and how he budgets his time.
Ballard, who oversees space allocation in the Student Union, explained he takes space requests from students and passes them on to the Office of Student Life.
Both Bobs seemed confused about Ballard's role, and questioned him sharply. They did not understand why students couldn't just communicate with the Office of Student Life directly.
"What would you say ... you do here?" asked Slydell.
"Well, look, I already told you. I deal with the goddamn students so the vice-presidents don't have to!!" answered a frustrated Ballard. "I have people skills!! I am good at dealing with people!! Can't you understand that?!? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!!!!!!!"
Looking to the future
Simpson said the interviews would continue until the end of the semester, when the Bobs will make their recommendations.
Some faculty members are already making backup plans if layoffs are put into effect - Ballard said he is working on a business strategy for selling a "Jump to Conclusions" mat.
Other faculty members say there could be consequences if faculty demands aren't met.
An unnamed CIT official said he is working on a plan to "rip this university off big-time," should he be fired.
Waddell, the economics professor, said he is most concerned about a reduction in stapler budgets - he added there will be consequences for that, as well.
"If they take my stapler, I will, I will set this building on fire," said Waddell.
Photo: Meredith Forrest Kulwicki
