It has come to the UB Department of Athletics' attention that Jim Hofher, coach of the Bulls football squad, has a blemish on his permanent record that could prevent him from ever coaching again, while also leaving question marks on next year's season.
Failing to correct this manner would have the Bulls coach walking on thin ice.
According to Todd Grimes, Xavier Middle School physical education teacher, Hofher failed 7th grade gym class due to an outstanding number of un-prepared's. Recalling that Hofher frequently showed up wearing denim bell-bottoms and was hesitant to take out piercings.
"It was during that time when everybody was getting their left ears pierced, he had both ears done," explained Grimes. "If a dodge ball hit him in the face his whole ear could have been torn off. We can't have that here."
Hofher, on the other hand said it was the school's fault for not supplying a more secure locker room.
"My uniform was stolen half way through the year," said Hofher. "This kid who called himself "Wires" took my clothes and roofed them. The school did nothing about it. As far as the earrings go, what can I say, I had a rep to keep."
This isn't the first time the college world has been rocked by misrepresentation. George O'Leary juiced his resume to land the head coaching job at Notre Dame, before he was eventually caught. This is a different situation, though, as Hofher can fix the situation by attending make-up classes held at the end of the Xavier school year sometime in June.
"If he attends two of the five make-ups and finishes the mile in a respectable time with no walking, we will erase the "F," said Grimes. "He also must complete the sit and reach."
Hofher has the support of the entire football roster, with some even offering to help train to get in shape for the mile.
"We got some programs we're gonna put him through, it's kind of like, nah...I can't say," said Bulls offensive tackle Zachary Love with a grin.
Some in the community have been less forgiving though and consider this the last straw. Since the story leaked last week, gym class attendance and preparedness have dropped to new depths in local schools.
One kid, Junior Pettingill, has newly discovered high hopes for himself since reading of the story.
"Well I figure if he didn't go to gym and ended up a football coach, I can be President of the United States, maybe even an astronaut," said Pettingill with a bright smile on his face. "With a few more absences and some hard work on being tardy to the rest of my classes; the sky is the limit!"
Hofher will have to supply his own uniform for make-ups, no scheduled times have been announced as of yet.
Photo: Meredith Forrest Kulwicki
