With the start of a new semester, returning students can always look forward to a few familiar faces: The same people are preparing sandwiches at Putnam's, working at The Spectrum and driving the buses. The one face that students did not expect to see was that of President William R. Greiner. Despite the formation of a Presidential Search Committee, no public information has been revealed about their progress. Since the public knows of no new candidate, Greiner is still making decisions and is vaguely responsible for the happenings of the university.
While I am not on the committee - I know, it's a travesty and it's not like I didn't want to be on it - I spent much of the summer trying to find someone who would give UB the direction it needed to build a bridge for the years when I am no longer enrolled here. Despite being alone in this search and having no credentials to interview candidates, I stayed up late dreaming about what I wanted in a president and who would best be suited to fill that role. Before I could do that, I had to figure out what exactly the president did, and aside from seeing him at various sporting events, I was completely clueless about his daily activities.
As I see it, the role of the president is to give speeches about the state of the university. Whether it is addressing freshmen or parents or graduating seniors, oratory skills to keep an audience rapt and excited is a must. I still remember a speech that was given by Greiner to my incoming class, telling us how he'd do anything in his power to make our stay as enjoyable as possible and for us to always look twice before crossing the street, especially when walking to and from Ellicott. A new president also must know where the traffic hazards are and give freshmen adequate warning.
The other big activity that must be done by a candidate is to watch a movie with The Spectrum's editorial board once he or she is elected president. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend the event two years ago and missed a showing of Office Space. I was too dismayed that "Dude, Where's My Car?" was not chosen, so instead of bonding with the editors and president, I spent the night at home watching Ashton Kutcher and Seann William Scott "act" stupid. Hopefully the committee is finding someone with a better taste in movies, so future Spectrum editorial boards can be treated to such timeless classics as "Glitter," "Dante's Peak" and "Batman and Robin."
One of my favorite sports experience with the lame duck president occurred at a basketball game last semester at Canisius College. About 50 UB students and I crammed into their small downtown gym and we found ourselves seated a few rows behind Greiner. At halftime, we went over to talk to him and he reminisced about how he used to attend basketball games there. He was in charge of getting the laced ball out of the basket from the balcony. Seriously, he told us about the chants that were shouted between the two camps. The winning one from UB at that time was, "we'll get jobs!" which silenced all critics from local schools. Whoever replaces Greiner will need the sort of memory that will allow them to reach back into years and years worth of catch phrases.
And finally, Greiner's true legacy will be remembered in the way he renamed schools and created new schools of study in order to redistribute the same programs. Just because bioinformatics is a made up word does not mean that their degrees are any less valuable. Hopefully, a new president will make up more words and allow students to graduate without knowing what field they are entering. Perhaps this freshmen class will become experts in robo-english, chemo-media study, histo-engineering-ology or something else that only a new president with proper qualifications can imagine.
In short, I think Arnold Schwarzenegger will serve UB well.
