University Unions and Activities Board's bi-annual Sex Week climaxed Friday night with the 1978 porn classic "Debbie Does Dallas," providing students a chance to laugh and learn some tricks from Debbie's gang of pom-pom nymphomaniacs.
"There's people running on the stage," groans a UUAB staff member a few minutes before midnight, amused but irritated.
The patrons in the sold-out Student Union Theater swarm anxiously as they wait for the projector to start. They chatter and chant, waiting for the guest of honor.
UUAB Director David Rogers climbs the stage to make some remarks, but there is no need for introduction; the audience won't allow it. A holler sounds from the lower right and ignites a verbal riot. "PORNO!" "PENIS!" "DEBBIE!"
"I want to see nipples the size of couches," said Shannon Stalikas, a freshman philosophy major, as an explanation for watching "Debbie."
Stalikas said she and her friends occasionally watch porn together, but they have never seen one on the big screen. For Stalikas, UUAB's screening was a chance to laugh at what once aroused a less sexually liberated America.
"It's a social thing, not sexual. And it's just funny," she said.
Rogers agrees. Despite the hard-core nature of films like "Deep Throat" and "The Devil and Mrs. Jones," both shown for previous Sex Weeks, Rogers said the screenings are harmless fun.
"The reactions we get tend to be positive. I can't say I've heard anything overwhelmingly negative," said Rogers. "It's the students choice to go ... We're not trying to do something vulgar."
After Rogers leaves the stage, the lights vanish and the projector illuminates the screen. The speakers come alive. Words flash in the funky '70s font that you only see in vintage stores. "School Day Pictures Presents... 'Debbie Does Dallas'"
Students fall back to another chapter in American history where hard-core pornos traditionally had story lines and would not be shown to an audience packed with students steeped in the hormonal circus of college life. The film is a living, grunting, and moaning testament of where America was headed and where it would hopefully never return.
A girl sitting in the lower middle declares the untidy pubic hair of Debbie's friend offensive by contemporary standards.
"Shave it!" she yells.
Through libraries, locker rooms, vinyl shops, and Mr. Hardwick's candle store, the audience follows the entrepreneurial sexcapades of the cheerleading squad, who are all willing to help Debbie earn bus fare for the Dallas Cowgirl try-outs. Nearly an hour and a half of clap-alongs and sickened groans later, the audience still waits for Debbie's freak finale with the sporting goods store boss.
But here she comes now, wedged in high shorts and a Cowgirl's hat, swiveling hips into Mr. Greenfield's store. Hands on armrests, open eyes wide, and ready for her toes to curl.
Then the power goes. The screen blips, but the soundtrack continues. Debbie is finally getting it and the audience is missing it.
Some cry "Refund!" as the projectionist scrambles to find the problem. Others have had enough and head for the exits. Briefly the image of Debbie and Greenfield returns and then disappears again.
Even without the orgasmic conclusion, "Debbie" scored.
"We had to turn people away at the door. They were knocking to get in a half-hour after it started," Rogers said.
The choice to begin showing "Debbie Does Dallas" during Sex Week was an easy one, Rogers said.
"'Debbie' came back into the picture when we saw the success of the off-Broadway show," he said. "We were brainstorming and saw that 'Debbie' was getting the most press."
The movie's popularity is what led to the sell-out crowd, a response Rogers is used to during Sex Week. According to Rogers, crowd control became a problem at last year's screening of "Deep Throat." Students packed the theater, playing beach ball with an inflatable phallus while more crowded the lobby, eager to grab a last minute seat to an already sold out show.
Rogers said last year's rowdiness prompted an increase in staff size this year.
"I had to kick two dudes off the stage trying to strip," said Aaron Liburd, a senior economics major and UUAB staff member.
Christine Souter, a sophomore psychology major, felt a little let down by Debbie's performance.
"I thought Debbie would do more. I give it three stars," she said.
Photo: Meredith Forrest Kulwicki
