"Abortion, Sex and All That Upsets"

"Not every ejaculation deserves a name." -George Carlin.

Last year we had a dude at The Spectrum who wrote a column he titled "Feet First." Well, I'm not going to be jumping in feet first today. Rather, I'm going head first into an empty pool. Our topics today are as follows: abortion, sex and society.

Abortion is once again a relevant topic, as the 30th anniversary of the Roe vs. Wade decision has just passed us. The "pro-lifers" would like to see abortion banned and the "pro-choicers" believe in a woman's right to choose. Now if we apply common sense to this (not something the masses are known for doing well), preserving the right to choose is the correct path. History has shown that women will get abortions regardless of the legality, and illegal abortions are far more dangerous.

But apparently rational thought shouldn't be applied in this case. The pro-lifers have to take up a higher stance in order for their argument to hold water (or break water). They argue that life begins prior to birth, and as such abortion at any stage of the pregnancy is equivalent to murder. But when does life begin? When the father-to-be is told, "Sorry, honey, I forgot to take my birth control pill yesterday?" Can it be defined? For certain, a child cannot survive on its own prior to its natural birth. But it may grow into a human, and as such it is alive. OK, I can see the point, but when I take 30 minutes for myself, does my waste mean I'm a murderer because it could have grown into a human?

You could also come in from the "God" angle. The baby has a soul; God has plans for it; you can't just rip it out. Well, let's start with the fact that God has no place in government and law. Last I checked, the United States didn't provide protection for souls. Besides, your religion is your religion. Keep it to yourself. If Brenda over there with the two-month old fetus doesn't want and can't afford it, doesn't believe in your god, what makes you think you have the right to stop her from getting rid of it?

I'd much rather Brenda waits until she's ready and can raise the child than have to support her and her child with my hard-earned tax dollars. That's another thing. The majority of the pro-lifers are conservatives. Well, if the child isn't born, it doesn't cost any taxes, and who hates taxes more than conservatives? But they threw logic out a while ago, so why expect different?

Moving along now, we come to sex. Sex is a beautiful thing when it's between two people (or more) who truly love each other. It's also a hell of a lot of fun when it's casual. As a society, we are still way too uptight about sex. It's a natural way to keep yourself busy and happy, but we've placed all these negative connotations on it. There are actually people that can't derive much pleasure from it because of their social indoctrination. Now, before you call me a male sexist pig or some other rude comment that isn't fit to print, let me lay out my opinions on sex.

I, myself, am still a virgin. Such a shock to find one, I know. You may be looking at my column picture and saying, "Hmm, I can see why he's still a virgin," but you would be wrong. I have had my chances with women whose beauty boggles the mind. Yet I have abstained. Why? Simple, I would like the first time I have sex to be something worth remembering. I'm not saying I have to be married, but I would like the person I experience it with to be someone I love. But like I said earlier, sex does not have to be romantic. It doesn't even have to have meaning. Sex can be a pure act of pleasure shared by two or more people, and that's it. No love involved, no jealousy - just fun.

As a society, we've nearly destroyed this notion. The belief is generally that if you have sex with someone besides the person you're "attached to," it means you don't love them anymore or that they aren't enough for you. It could mean that, but it could also just mean that you wanted to have a good night, and your partner wasn't around. I'm not saying we should all throw ourselves at each other and create orgies in every corner, but we shouldn't be so coy and pretend like sex doesn't interest us. Everyone watches pornography, it's not like it's a foreign element. And if you don't for some reason, go download some. Maybe it'll loosen you up a bit. Try new things. Who cares what kind of social stigma has been placed on it, maybe it'll be great.

So, as I'm sure everyone is rushing to their computers to send me hate mail, remember this: We are all human from the time we are born. We aren't human before that, and we should stop trying to act like we aren't once we grow up. Abortion should be legal always, and people should act on their urges more often. They'd be happier.