Women Power

I have been an independent woman almost since the moment I left my mother's womb, and I can't believe that there are young women out there that won't stand up for themselves and make a difference. This is no longer the era of women not working, being barefoot and pregnant, and not having a voice. There are too many females out there that are still letting themselves get walked over and pushed around. This goes for anything from the most serious situation to the least.

For instance, most of us probably grew up with our mother telling us not to call a boy and to let the boy call us. Well, what if you really want to date (or whatever) this boy? Are you just going to sit and wait for them to come to you? Most guys today are not ones with a classic style, like opening doors, pulling out chairs, calling a girl first, etc. So why should we have imprinted in our brains that we can't have what we want?

I have a very good friend who was very interested in someone and wouldn't approach him because she was taught that the man has to do everything, including the first move. She had never talked to him before; it was a sort of admiring from a far. Finally, he said a brief statement to her, and instead of letting it go and letting him walk away, she offered to walk with him because he was going in the same direction. Now these two are dating, and they have a fabulous relationship. What would have happened had she let him just walk away from her?

I have always thought that if you want something go after it, and that includes relationships. What have you got to lose? Nothing. All that can happen is he or she says no.

My very best friend got married last year, and unfortunately she just filed for divorce last week. Her husband is a complete jerk, and she finally decided that she was going to stand up to him. Unfortunately, he is one of those control freaks that calls the shots all the time. The two are in the Navy and right now apart because he's at sea. Before he left he wanted her to be pregnant; that way he could insure that she wouldn't cheat or anything of the sort. Luckily, this is where she started to realize what a jerk he was and started calling the shots and standing up to him. Needless to say, he didn't like it very much.

Women who think that they don't have a voice are wrong! Why let anyone, especially a lover, tell you what to do? Whether it's telling you not to go away to school/work, or to be/not be pregnant, not to/to work, or to do what they want when they want it, it's always wrong.

It seems to me that one of the most common situations where women don't stand up and say something is when it has to do with sex. The list for this could go on and on, but I'll just touch on the important ones.

First off and most importantly, if you do not want to have sex with someone, don't let him or her pressure you into it, whether it's forcefully or making you feel guilty. If you don't want to, don't do it just because you feel guilty - say something. It will hurt you more if you go through with it than if you speak up. I would like to assume that a majority of you will not let a man or woman take you forcefully, but for those of you who feel like you don't have a voice, don't ever let someone force you into anything.

Secondly, still pertaining to the sex issue, if you want to have sex, don't let your partner tell you that not using some form of protection is OK. I know guys who, even if the girl is not taking some type of birth control, will not use a condom because they don't like it. This situation may not bother some people, but if it does, say something! Don't wait until it's too late and you're worrying about whether you're pregnant and you have bigger problems to deal with.

Women who think they should be meek and mild housewives - who has 2.5 kids, cooks, and does all the cleaning - are severely wrong. Society has changed, meaning if you want that big corporate job, go for it; if he wants that job, too, let him go for it also. Neither person should be lower than the other.

In the year 2002, there should not be women that think like this, but there are, and it makes me sick. I hope this column can open the eyes of some of you and help you get over whatever was programmed into you. Be strong, smart women; don't let your life be controlled by anyone.