How come only bartenders can give you free stuff? It is totally accepted in society that when you frequent a bar, you give good tips and get rewarded. When you are deemed a good customer, the bartender will oftentimes give you drinks on the house in return for a good tip. It benefits both of you, as you save money and your tip goes directly to the bartender and not the bar, which overcharges for drinks.
This is apparently the only profession where this kind of exchange is acceptable. It would weird me out if one day I went to the barber who has cut my hair for the past few years and who I have always tipped well, and after giving me a nice trim, he told me that it was free. I'd be uncomfortable not paying and almost insist that he took my money.
If there was a restaurant I went to and oftentimes had the same waiter whom I became friends with and always tipped well, I'd never expect him to serve me a meal and then tell me it was on the house. Life doesn't work like that outside of bars. Part of me wishes that it did, but we're not ready as a society to be like that.
Another thing that we are not ready for as a society is the "hello honk." This is a practice often used by my roommate Brett, who likes to say hello and draw the attention of random people on the road while he is driving. The sound of the horn is very close to the sound of him yelling "hey," and it is a gentle greeting between motorist and pedestrian. People always take this the wrong way, and assume that he is yelling at them to hurry up and oftentimes will respond by flipping him off. Come on, people, a short honk can be a greeting, as if to say "hey, what's up?" - it is the extended solid honking that means "get the **** out of my way."
I love going to the movies. The best part about movie theaters is the stadium seating. However, the problem with stadium seating is that every time I go to an actual stadium, I want a big seat with a cushion and armrests with cup holders in them. Why is it that fake stadium seating is much nicer than the chairs in actual stadiums? This seems like a paradox to me, and one that cannot be solved at that.
One problem that can easily be solved is how to show women that you are interested, and all it takes is a pair of sunglasses. When you are walking around with a pair on your face, and you pass an attractive member of the opposite sex, you just lower the pair down your nose and with your head lowered, look up toward the girl. She'll know immediately that you are interested in how she looks, and then she may take the time to show you how she's also a good person on the inside, and the two of you might have a long relationship based on understanding. Yes, that is all because of how you looked at her with a pair of sunglasses on.
I am very excited for the upcoming baseball playoffs. I was raised as a Yankee fan, in Queens, by a Giants fan, so I have a very messed up take on being a fan. I've started to root for baseball as a whole, and this season has been an excellent one for that. The Twins were on the verge of extinction and rallied behind their homemade talent all the way to the playoffs. They showed baseball that talent, not money, is important, and that good managing on and off the field is what's necessary.
As for the west coast, there are different arguments for the wild card. In the national league, there is only a race because the Giants and the Dodgers are both in wild card contention. On the other side, the race between the Angels and the Athletics seems trite since both teams will be able to play on into October.
Since this column has had no flow at all, I figure it's time to make my predictions. The Giants will beat the Braves in the first round, then face the Cardinals, who will beat the Diamondbacks. In the AL, the Yankees will beat the Angels, but not the Twins, who will dominate the cocky Athletics. In the World Series, the Giants will face off against the Twins and recreate the magic of the 1991 World Series. After seven games, the boys from San Francisco will stand triumphant, after an extra inning homerun by the greatest offensive player of this era, Barry Bonds.
So take care Buffalo, it is always a pleasure writing to you; happy trails and have a pleasant week.
by Daniel Stein, Editorial Editor
